My Lenten Devotion

I wrote this as a contribution for the Lenten Devotion booklet that is put out by the St Olaf Student Congregation:


In the busy-ness of school and work, I too often find myself at a loss for time to spend with just me and Jesus. I'm worrying about earning high marks on homework when I should maybe be focusing a little more on my spiritual life. I'm so busy fussing over how I look to the outside world, how people see me, what they think about me, that I forget to spend time remembering that God loves me just the way I am. I'm so insecure in my daily living, wondering if my friends truly like me or if they're just putting up with me until I go away, that I neglect to pay attention to the voice of the One who never tires of my company, the One who so eagerly longs for the time when I'll return back in prayer.

I go to Church on Sunday, Bible study on Thursday, and I even work part-time at a Christian high school, but still the world has made me feel so far away. And so I pray...

Lord, I ask that You would move in my life again, that You would speak to my heart, my soul
In these days of longing, Lord, I pray to feel Your close presence, to hear Your voice clearly again
I pray, Lord, that You would help me tune out this noisy, distracting world
That You would refocus my energy, my life, into Your service once more
That You might fade away the intrusive pains from my past
And that You would give me the strength to change these mere words into a new day, a renewed life
Amen.

Giving as Jesus Gave

I am now over halfway to being a gallon blood donor, but for the first time yesterday morning after donating, something really amazing finally sunk in with me, something I'd thought about before but not really grasped: I realised just how Biblical it is for us as Christians to donate blood. Human blood is a life-giving substance, and human bodies are the only ones able to make it - for as much else as they might be able to do, we don't have machines that can take the place of a human in blood manufacturing. What makes the donation so Biblical is the amazing parallel between Jesus allowing His blood to be shed in order to save us, and now we, too, are able to bleed to help save the lives of others. I might even argue we are called to do so. What better way to truly be Christ to the world? What an awesome way of serving God and caring for others!

The Year in Review: What 2006 has meant in my life

It's quite odd how life can fluctuate, one day is among the most joyous, and a week later among the most painful. Looking back on the past year I can truly say I've seen the best of times and the worst of times in my life thus far, both on a personal level and in my family as a whole. Rather than try to explain it all in narrative form, I decided it's easier for me as writer to simply write out a list of a portion of what 2006 has meant to me:

- Both Grandma Sue and Grandma Ruth went to live in their eternal Home with Jesus
- Grandpa Ray moved into assisted living
- I worked as Assistant Technical Director for Minnehaha Academy's Madrigal Dinner (www.MinnehahaAcademy.net)
- I finished my second year of college
- Harry Putter auditions began in April, shooting began in June, and we wrapped at the end of August (www.harryputtermovie.com)
- I was an executive producer on the local independent film IceBreaker (www.icebreakermovie.com)
- I wrote a new Technology Request System at Minnehaha from scratch with my newfound skills in PHP and MySQL
- Minnehaha embarked on the voyage of creating a new website... committees happened... we're still working on it as of this writing
- I went on my first ever cruise (it was to the Bahamas)
- I started my third year of college
- Two of my best friends left on a jet plane as part of St Olaf's Global semester abroad (and another went to live in Japan for a year)
- We bought a new used car after my old one died on a freeway entrance ramp (it had been in our family for 13 years, and served us well)
- I was hired to create a website for a local jewelry business (www.mayfairjewel.com)
- God called me to buy a guitar and start learning how to play it
- I moved into my own house a mile away from my parents' (it's a long story to type, but a happy one, so feel free to ask me about it)
- My roommate, Ben, convinced me to buy a new MacBook Pro to replace my PowerBook after he did the same
- I made a number of new friends this year, and greatly strengthened some of my friendships from last year
- I have now finished my foreign language requirement at St Olaf, meaning semester 2, starting in 2007, will be the first time in one and a half years that I won't have a Norwegian class
- I have finished my Computer Science major (except for Senior Capstone next year), and semester 2 will be the first time since I started college that I won't have a Computer Science class (though I guess it could be argued that my Theory of Computation class may be a CS course...)


2006 holds both my fondest memories of my life, and also my darkest and saddest. It's an odd combination, really, but I will always remember this year as a shining highlight in my life; the good has far outweighed the bad.

Groundbreaking

There are a few events each year that seem to exemplify the spirit of what St Olaf is, and I think last Friday's groundbreaking ceremony for St Olaf's new Science Center was certainly one. From the Christ-filled words of the speakers, to the Fram Fram song, to the view of the distant windmill spinning over the science center, the crowd of hundreds of students, adults, alumni, parents, Americans, Norwegians, and more, standing faithfully in the cold to show their support, and the seven symbolic shovels manned by leaders of our community: this is St Olaf.

Happy Thanksgiving!

There's so much to be said, I'm at a loss of where to start. It's really a day that can fit the opening of A Tale of Two Cities well:

It is the best of times: life is really good for most of us, and I'll admit I feel this especially so right now - God has seen me through from my absolute worst low of lows just two months ago and brought me to being "pretty darn good" now. It's also my first Thanksgiving "living on my own" (and trying to deal with the clutter of boxes that contains my life right now).

And yet it is the worst of times: we are a nation at war, and many families are celebrating Thanksgiving while a loved one fights for our nation half a world away. Many other families are celebrating Thanksgiving for the first time without a beloved relative. This will be my family's first Thanksgiving without my two Grandmothers. For the family of one of my friends, this will be their first Thanksgiving without his mother, and for another friend, their first without her uncle.


The Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade just ended with Santa going by on his float (preceded immediately, I'll add, by Christian singer Natalie Grant!), and in my family, that means the official start of the Christmas season. More specifically, it means we are now "allowed" to play Christmas music. The required first song of the season: Mannheim Steamroller's "Deck the Halls". My parents, I'm sure, had the real CD at the ready at their house, and I had my iTunes cued up and standing by, plugged into the speakers on my desk ready to blast out the notes and thus complete the morning.

The one unfortunate part of the opening of the Christmas music season is that KTIS will start playing lots of songs that I like less well. I'm not a fan of most traditional Christmas music, favoring instead some of the more contemporary rock-ish renditions. This is not to say all of the 'old' Christmas songs are bad, I'm just jaded and tired of hearing the same ones over and over year after year, which is why it will be exciting to start branching out to newer recordings by Steven Curtis Chapman, MercyMe, Avalon, Big Daddy Weave, Barlow Girl, the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, et al.

But I digress.

For today, like most other days, I take a moment to pause and remember to live a life of "Thanksliving", rather than one day of "Thanksgiving". Here are just a few of the things I am thankful for each morning when I wake up:

My Mom and Dad and the rest of my loving family
My wonderful friends
My education
My car
My guitar
My nation
My Awesome God

I Voted

Homework done, my studying began late last night, or rather, early this morning, for what ranks among the most important tests I have taken this semester: my vote. Okay, before today, I was passingly familiar with the candidates and issues, but not well enough to consider myself well-informed enough to vote. Huge thanks to my roommate Ben for walking through the important races' candidates and issues with me.

There are so many amazing things about the test I took this morning. For one, it's not graded! I can put whatever answer fits me and know that I'll still get 100%, and if I don't know the answers to some of the questions, I can leave them blank and not be penalized. All tests should be this way.

I woke up early this morning, prayed for friends in need and the election day on the whole, and soon made my way over to Buntrock to get my second-ever little red circle sticker. After re-registering so that I can vote in Northfield instead of having to drive home, I received my ballot and started filling in ovals. Governor, senate, house, and amendments, those were the most important ones, and honestly, I skipped the rest. To me, it doesn't really matter who the new Northfield sheriff is - I don't know anything about the candidates, so it just seems right that I leave that decision to better informed voters. Don't misinterpret what I'm saying here: I do not take voting lightly at all–it's one of the most important rights and duties that we have in this country–, but for me it's only critical that I am able to cast my vote for the races that really matter to me, in other words, the big, non-local races.

The machine scanned my ballot and told me I was voter number 124. Not terrible for 9:30 in the morning. Most importantly, though, I'd made my voice heard, and I got my wonderful sticker to wear proudly all day long. And now, with the polls closed, I pray May God Bless America, no matter what the outcomes are from today's vote.

Good Pain?

It's seemingly an oxymoron, I know, to say there is such a thing as a "good pain", but the slight tingly pain I feel in my fingers is exactly that. Why? Because it comes as a result of learning how to play my beautiful new guitar. It's a very satisfying, moreso than truly painful, feeling, knowing that my fingers worked hard to press down in these newfound contortions that musicians call chords.

I bought my shiny new toy about two weeks ago, and I did a very little bit of independent learning by way of the Internet, but nothing much. And then, yesterday, I had my first real lesson! I owe a huge thank you to Adam for being willing to tutor me, or, more accurately, put up with me :) Mini-lessons included just getting acquainted with the instrument, then tuning (being a non-music major, this gave me challenges), and finally some basic chords, enough to very slowly strum out Amazing Grace. Okay, so I wasn't good at it, but I'll get there eventually. I am bound and determined to make this pretty instrument make equally pretty noises someday.

My First Scripture Reading in Chapel

Last Friday morning was slightly traumatic and yet, in another, more important sense, fulfilling. Last Friday was the first day I've ever read a scripture passage in Chapel. Remembering only my short chapel presentation a year ago as one of five speakers, I came fully expecting to have shaky legs with a moderately shaky voice to match, and of course, since the reading was rather lengthy, I knew my mouth would dry out quickly. Discreetly gulping down as much water as I could, I sat waiting quietly at the front of the make-shift Urness Chapel.

I had no real reason to be nervous, of course. I'd printed out my own 'large print edition' of the reading (which was now waiting patiently for me within the Bible on the podium), and I'd rehearsed several times - mostly silent lip synching, but once out loud, too. And I'd already done a sound check with the microphone, so I knew what to expect when I started reading out loud again.

Now, I really do like speaking in front of people, but this was a brand new crowd of mostly unfamiliar faces to me. In all honesty, the previous Wednesday had been the first day this year I'd gone to chapel, and I only went because my former psychology prof was speaking. Why had I now been asked to accept this privilege of reading in front of everyone? I knew I couldn't screw up; I did not want to make a fool of myself, not here, not in front of these people. Today I needed to make a good impression, today I needed to try my best to offer some semblance of actually appearing intelligent.

All told, the reading went just fine. My over-the-top nervousness ahead of time disappeared once I was at the microphone - at that point the previously almost overwhelmingly worrisome task became almost routine; "you've read out loud before, and you're a good sight reader, and for goodness sake, you've practised this text, to boot!" is what I told myself. My mouth did run quite dry (I'm sure it didn't help that I had not fully re-hydrated from giving blood several days before), but somehow I made it through, and in the aftermath actually received several compliments from friends saying I'd done just fine. In short, all my worries had been for naught. Thank you, God.

Thank You, Grandma Ruth

Not too many weeks ago I wrote about my car breaking down on the freeway. Very exciting. And very ironic, too, because earlier that day my parents and I had been talking about how they wanted this car to last through the winter, and then we'd buy a new one next spring. So of course the motor chose that day to die.

Our choices: pay $4000 to replace the engine in a 13 year old car, or start looking for a new car. To my glee, we opted for the latter, which meant the Monday after my ordeal on the entry ramp my parents and I got to go car shopping!

Mom came down to Olaf to pick me up (since I had no transportation of my own), and we met Dad at the dealer. After a small amount of looking around, we came back to the first car we'd spotted a few days previous when the tow truck dropped off my old one: a really nice condition three year old car with all the great features: leather interior, moonroof, CD player (none of our vehicles have ever had one before), power seat, etc. It was just a really really nice car. And it was used, with a number of miles on it, so the price was actually affordable. The best, and also scariest, part is that they let me take it on a test drive. That was... fun, I guess, but nerve wracking at the same time.

We bought it. I had to leave to go help with an event at Minnehaha, and it was a good thing I left when I did instead of waiting, since it took Mom and Dad another several hours of waiting and writing before the paper work was all done.

Now, I didn't get to drive the new car right away - the dealer has a three-day return window, so Dad drove it for the next several days, including a longer journey into Wisconsin with Mom and Grandpa for a funeral, before I was allowed to wrestle the keys out of his hand and start calling the vehicle 'my own' on Thursday night of that week. (Dad is still fond of asking me how "his car" is doing, since he did, after all, pay for it, and I just get to drive it).

Why is the title of this blog entry "Thank You, Grandma Ruth"? Because, in a very practical sense, it was the inheritance money that bought the car (cash, no loans involved). So, sincerely, Thank You, Grandma Ruth, for buying us a very nice car for me to call my own.

I Think I Finally Get It

Not to say that I've solved all of life's mystery's, but, in short, I think I finally got it. I heard this song [Matthew West's "More"] playing on KLOVE on my way back to St Olaf this evening:


"I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today
And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again

And I see you
And I made you
I love you more than you can imagine"


I was singing along with it, and then I realised what I was saying, how that's truly how God feels toward us, how much God loves us, how much God wants to take care of us.

It's been a really, really bad week, but this was just what I needed to hear. It finally sank in: God loves me. No matter how much I've screwed up, no matter how much God knows I'm going to continue to screw up, God still loves me. It was an amazing moment of clarity. Thank you, God.