Awkwardness

I wrote this today for a new page I put up on my website biography about relationships and what I look for, but in the end it just didn't seem to fit there, and I didn't want to delete it and thus waste the time that had gone into writing it, so, well, here it is: Awkwardness.

I feel I must say something about awkwardness. I'm not really sure what I'm going to say, more just that something must be said. I think "the world would be a better place" if we were all a little more honest. How quaint. More to the point, I find it a shame that trying to meet someone can oftentimes carry an inherent bad-awkwardness with it. When I want to meet or get to know someone better (male or female, this doesn't necessarily need to remain restricted to carnal realms), it's as if I need a good reason, as if otherwise they will ask, "what right have you to dare talk to me?".

Such is a combination of both intimidation and awkward, true, but the point I'm going for is that, in a "perfect world", if I meet a new friend or classmate who I simply want to get to know better, (or, in fairness, who I happen to think is cute), two things: 1) I should not need a better reason than "I'd like to get to know you better as a friend", and, 2) there should not have to be any bad-awkwardness in asking her to join me for a meal in the Caf sometime (I write this from a St Olaf student's perspective, of course, but the illustration holds for other areas in life).

I say this all because it seems to me that there are a great number of relationships (friendships and otherwise) that don't happen, or aren't given the chance to happen, because of this pervading notion of bad-awkwardness. On the other hand, perhaps this is merely Jeremy being silly. In any case, this idea of awkwardness has been a real struggle for shy, introverted little me, and something that I'm working hard to simply start ignoring.