My day started out with breakfast with a friend, and then it was up to the cities for errands. I decided a few days ago, after Thursday Night, that I wanted to buy my own Bible. Now, of course, I have any number of Bibles on my shelves at home, but what I realized (it was kind of a surprise...) is that I've never actually bought my own English Bible (other than the textbook Bible they made us buy for first year religion class, but that doesn't count): all the Bibles I've purchased have been foreign language Bibles, and all the English Bibles I own have been gifts. I wanted something lightweight that would be easier to read laying down, as well as then easier to carry to class and Thursday Night, than my bulky study Bible. I also wanted something with fancy silver or gold edging :) Northwestern Bookstore had a great selection, and I found the one I wanted, matching all my requirements.
While driving to the cities I happened to switch radio stations from KTIS to The Refuge (which I do often depending on who has a "better" song playing at the time) just in time to hear them thanking their daily sponsor: Dan Cummings. Whoa! I know him! We've worked with him and his company at Minnehaha for several years now.
My next great surprise came when I got home and saw how much snow there was! Minneapolis had about 2-3 feet of snow, which is a lot more than Northfield had gotten. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I'm quite happy not having all that down here, but it was quite the shocker walking through the narrow winding sidewalk path amidst two giant walls of whiteness.
Checking my email brought me one semi-surprise slash I-can't-believe-it's-happened-again: someone from the Thursday Night alias had forwarded an urban legend about NASA trying to prove true the Bible story about the sun standing still. People never, ever bother to check their sources, or think about what they're sending when they click "forward", and this frustrates me to no end. Normally I send back a little Jeremy-gram saying (usually respectfully), "you're wrong, here's the Snopes article that proves you're wrong". But, second surprise! This time I didn't have to! Someone else not only had emailed back the alias saying the original legend was untrue, but also provided the Snopes link that discussed it! Yay! Someone else is with me in the battle against urban legends!
I made it back to Olaf safe and sound, and in plenty of time to go to a poetry event this afternoon. Did I mention? I planned to go to a poetry reading today. Don't get too excited, here was my thought process: two weeks ago there was a poet, Saul Williams, who came to read in the Pause. I didn't go, but from what I'm told, he was very good, and the event very moving and worthwhile. Crumb. I probably would have gone, too, but it was Ash Wednesday that day, and Emmaus's service was at the same time. In any case, if he ever comes back, I've done been highly encouraged to go see him next time. Now, I didn't want to miss out one something awesome like that again, so I said that the next time a poet, any poet, comes to campus, I'll go listen.
Then I saw an event pop up on FaceBook called "Poetry Reading", and two of my friends (one of my best and one of my brand new) marked themselves as 'planning to attend', so I thought I'd be safe in tagging along. I assumed it was another similar event, that some famous, or even not so famous, poet was going to come, make an appearance, and read something. And it was only scheduled for an hour, that's pretty safe sounding. Great, I'm ready, poem-ize me.
What I did not anticipate is that the "Poetry Reading" was actually a group of 8 senior girls sitting in a circle reading choice selections from their favorite books of poems. Surprise! So there I am, the only boy, the only junior in the group, and even worse I have no favorite poems [we could put a period here, but I'll continue] along with me to read. I covered by saying something like, "I'm just here to be cultured", but still, I'm sure they were amused by my anomalous presence. Thank goodness I came with Amy; I think being there with one of my best friends gave me at least a semblance of legitimacy, especially when given the fact that my other friend who I was expecting / hoping to see there, wasn't.
This is the point in this short essay for which I really need a segue, but have none.
I spent some time today thinking about Lent. A lot of people give up sweets and candies for Lent, I've never done anything before. This year, though, I have come to the conclusion that maybe I am actually giving up something. Lent is forty days, this experiment (if I can make it last) will be 30, but still, the essence is there: this Lent, maybe, for once, I decided to give something up and give it to God instead: Control.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Day 3
The surprises started right away today. I woke up, said my "Thank you for this day" and "surprise me" prayers, then was surprised to find that my computer was not connecting to the Internet. Surprise! No morning email for Jeremy. I troubleshot for about 10 minutes before finally concluding the problem was with IIT, not me, so I left for breakfast. On the way out the dorm door, I saw a large paper sign from IIT confirming my suspicions: "The campus network is down due to power failure". Later that evening I found out more to the story: the power in the server room failed probably around 4:00 am or so. IIT, being the responsible people they are, actually do have UPSs installed on their servers, and even have a separate UPS on the air conditioner unit. Good for them! Unfortunately, the AC's UPS was drained almost immediately, soon leading to the catastrophic failure of all the servers. IIT spent the entire day reinstalling OSes and restoring from backups.
I arrived at breakfast at about 9:40, 5 minutes before they closed, and was greeted by a most glorious sight of an abundant supply of both fruity turnovers and chocolate muffins. These are quite rare finds after the crowds about 8:30 or 9:00, and in my experience almost completely unheard of at 9:40! I took two of each and stuffed them away for later snacking pleasure.
From breakfast I hiked to Tostrud and started working out, then went to phy ed class at 10:45. But the teacher never showed up. We waited patiently for a few minutes, then everyone went to work out (the format of class is lecture for 15 minutes, workout for 40). I'd already put in my workout time for the day, so I left right away, a full 45 minutes early. Marvelous.
The best part of the day was yet to come. Late afternoon I took a walk over to Ashley's room to see if she had any dinner plans. She wasn't there, but her roommate, one of her new really good friends from Global, who I didn't know very well, was, so I went in and we talked for a few minutes. That was at 4:20. I didn't end up leaving until 6:00. It was just amazing. We talked about so many things, philosophy, people, music... much of the time it felt like we'd been friends for years rather than acquaintances of only a few weeks. What was most amazing for me was connecting with someone else my age who loves the same types of Christian music that I do. It was such a cool conversation all around. I went to Ashley's room looking for my friend, I left having met a new friend, someone who I'm now friends with in real life rather than just on FaceBook. Thank you, God, for that surprise.
The later evening brought me to see Michael Gulezian, a really, really good guitar player, perform in the Pause. Not much else to say other than that it was very impressive. (One odd note: each of his guitars [he brought a standard 6-string and also a 12-string] had two pickups in the bottom... hmm...)
I left the concert during the intermission and spent the rest of the night working on a photography website: www.reflectionsbywendy.com. Nothing too surprising, just a good, fun, and productive evening and night.
I arrived at breakfast at about 9:40, 5 minutes before they closed, and was greeted by a most glorious sight of an abundant supply of both fruity turnovers and chocolate muffins. These are quite rare finds after the crowds about 8:30 or 9:00, and in my experience almost completely unheard of at 9:40! I took two of each and stuffed them away for later snacking pleasure.
From breakfast I hiked to Tostrud and started working out, then went to phy ed class at 10:45. But the teacher never showed up. We waited patiently for a few minutes, then everyone went to work out (the format of class is lecture for 15 minutes, workout for 40). I'd already put in my workout time for the day, so I left right away, a full 45 minutes early. Marvelous.
The best part of the day was yet to come. Late afternoon I took a walk over to Ashley's room to see if she had any dinner plans. She wasn't there, but her roommate, one of her new really good friends from Global, who I didn't know very well, was, so I went in and we talked for a few minutes. That was at 4:20. I didn't end up leaving until 6:00. It was just amazing. We talked about so many things, philosophy, people, music... much of the time it felt like we'd been friends for years rather than acquaintances of only a few weeks. What was most amazing for me was connecting with someone else my age who loves the same types of Christian music that I do. It was such a cool conversation all around. I went to Ashley's room looking for my friend, I left having met a new friend, someone who I'm now friends with in real life rather than just on FaceBook. Thank you, God, for that surprise.
The later evening brought me to see Michael Gulezian, a really, really good guitar player, perform in the Pause. Not much else to say other than that it was very impressive. (One odd note: each of his guitars [he brought a standard 6-string and also a 12-string] had two pickups in the bottom... hmm...)
I left the concert during the intermission and spent the rest of the night working on a photography website: www.reflectionsbywendy.com. Nothing too surprising, just a good, fun, and productive evening and night.
Day 2
Day the second brought relatively few major surprises. I had class all day, and I guess the only surprise that came out of that is that I managed to remain awake and [more or less] focused throughout all of them. I never fall asleep, but today I didn't even feel sleepy, which is quite the feat for the 8:00 AM, one hour twenty minute class.
This evening I had dinner with my best friend, and though not surprising, it's always so wonderful when we get to spend time together to just talk.
After dinner I trekked over to Ytterboe lounge for Thursday Night Bible Study, where I had the opportunity for the second time this week to use EasyWorship to show lyric slides during worship. There were only a couple minor surprises during this, mostly in the form of unexpected typos (which, really, isn't bad, given the nature of Thursday Night's last minute song selection–I didn't get the set list until 45 minutes before the start of the show), but it went well overall, so for now the plan is that I'll probably run slides every week, at least until someone else gets trained in on it. It's a good feeling to know that, not only will I get to use my talents each week, but I'll get to use them for something useful that's truly being appreciated.
Oh, I suppose there was one noteworthy surprise during Thursday Night: my laptop came unplugged when someone moved a couch over the floor outlet, so I unknowingly was running the show from battery. It lasted fine, but for a longer presentation there might have been issues.
It seems more appropriate today to reflect on a key phrase I read in chapter 2, page 28: "This story doesn't have an ending yet, but it almost never had a beginning. It was a split second away from never happening at all. These thoughts humble me." Terry wrote this in reference to a his conversation with a man he met while bicycling; I'll leave the details for the book to tell, but the moral is that something extraordinary came as a result of Terry's decision to pedal slower and talk with the man rather than simply blow past him on the road. And it makes me wonder, how many opportunities have I blown past? How many people have I not gotten to know because I thought I should be in such a hurry, or I was too intimidated to take a risk and talk to them, perhaps because I thought "I'm not good enough, I have nothing to say that they'd care about hearing".
When I think about it, that very nearly happened with my best friend. Freshman year, we were sitting at nearby tables in the Caf, and I sort of wanted to go over to talk to her, but I didn't know her well at all, and I thought I'd just look like a creepy fool. Eventually we caught each other's eye and she straightforwardly asked me "well are you going to come sit with me or not?" Of course I went over, and from that night a beautiful best-friendship was born. I can't imagine how life would be if Ashley hadn't taken that risk.
And so my resolution has solidified itself in me: I don't want to miss those new stories when they come passing by. It's so awfully stereotypical, you know, that whole, "take life by the horns" metaphor, but it's apt here. I want to take a healthier, non-worrisome approach to life: if I want to compliment someone I don't know on a job well done, if I meet someone new and want to get to know them better, if I want to skip doing my homework one night so I can spend that time with friends instead, I want to just be able to do it without caring if other people think it's weird. And I want to look forward to the surprises God has in store for me on the way.
Whether I'm actually able to follow through on this, who knows? But what a great ideal to aim for. I have no idea how long I'll live, might as well use these spurts of unreservedness to make the most of it.
This evening I had dinner with my best friend, and though not surprising, it's always so wonderful when we get to spend time together to just talk.
After dinner I trekked over to Ytterboe lounge for Thursday Night Bible Study, where I had the opportunity for the second time this week to use EasyWorship to show lyric slides during worship. There were only a couple minor surprises during this, mostly in the form of unexpected typos (which, really, isn't bad, given the nature of Thursday Night's last minute song selection–I didn't get the set list until 45 minutes before the start of the show), but it went well overall, so for now the plan is that I'll probably run slides every week, at least until someone else gets trained in on it. It's a good feeling to know that, not only will I get to use my talents each week, but I'll get to use them for something useful that's truly being appreciated.
Oh, I suppose there was one noteworthy surprise during Thursday Night: my laptop came unplugged when someone moved a couch over the floor outlet, so I unknowingly was running the show from battery. It lasted fine, but for a longer presentation there might have been issues.
It seems more appropriate today to reflect on a key phrase I read in chapter 2, page 28: "This story doesn't have an ending yet, but it almost never had a beginning. It was a split second away from never happening at all. These thoughts humble me." Terry wrote this in reference to a his conversation with a man he met while bicycling; I'll leave the details for the book to tell, but the moral is that something extraordinary came as a result of Terry's decision to pedal slower and talk with the man rather than simply blow past him on the road. And it makes me wonder, how many opportunities have I blown past? How many people have I not gotten to know because I thought I should be in such a hurry, or I was too intimidated to take a risk and talk to them, perhaps because I thought "I'm not good enough, I have nothing to say that they'd care about hearing".
When I think about it, that very nearly happened with my best friend. Freshman year, we were sitting at nearby tables in the Caf, and I sort of wanted to go over to talk to her, but I didn't know her well at all, and I thought I'd just look like a creepy fool. Eventually we caught each other's eye and she straightforwardly asked me "well are you going to come sit with me or not?" Of course I went over, and from that night a beautiful best-friendship was born. I can't imagine how life would be if Ashley hadn't taken that risk.
And so my resolution has solidified itself in me: I don't want to miss those new stories when they come passing by. It's so awfully stereotypical, you know, that whole, "take life by the horns" metaphor, but it's apt here. I want to take a healthier, non-worrisome approach to life: if I want to compliment someone I don't know on a job well done, if I meet someone new and want to get to know them better, if I want to skip doing my homework one night so I can spend that time with friends instead, I want to just be able to do it without caring if other people think it's weird. And I want to look forward to the surprises God has in store for me on the way.
Whether I'm actually able to follow through on this, who knows? But what a great ideal to aim for. I have no idea how long I'll live, might as well use these spurts of unreservedness to make the most of it.
Day 1
Reading Terry's book is almost like reading my own thoughts, except they're usually worded in a much smarter and more elegant fashion. But, for example, I was highly amused when I read the phrase "It was what it was" on page 22, because that's something I say all the time! And when I think about on a deeper level, even the whole concept of the book is somewhat akin to how I'll often choose to live my life: I like variety, I like surprises. Well, at least, I like pleasant surprises, most of the time. Moreso I meant that I like a level of seeming randomness in my life, like in the food or drinks I have, the music I listen to, or something as simple as a friend coming to visit unexpectedly.
I'm writing this a few days later, but let's pretend that we're back on February 28th. Today is Day 1.
This morning I had breakfast with one of my best friends with whom I haven't had a proper chance to talk in too long a while. We had a fair amount of catching up to do, but in the course of conversation it came out that, in the not so recent past, she had had an eating disorder, and because of it had actually spent some number of days in the hospital in January. Surprise. That explained why she hadn't been very on top of answering my emails, and certainly why I hadn't seen her around much during interim. But she's doing better now, and is determined to take control back in her life. She's strong, I know she can do it.
Later in the day I received an email back from a newfound friend with whom I'd semi-awkwardly asked for a getting-to-know-you "caf-date"–that's just what it's called, they're usually not really "dates"–and she wasn't opposed (it may not be first on her todo list, but let's not quibble over semantics). I'm simply glad that my first invitation wasn't so gauche so as to end the friendship before it'd even begun.
Dinner needed to be fast paced - I had a lot of work to do before tomorrow, but standing in line for my tacos I did bump into another new friend from my interim class who I've been trying to get to know better. We didn't end up sitting together, and we were both in a hurry, but still, it's the little moments of merely saying "hi" (alongside whatever other quick conversation can be had) that can really brighten a day.
In the evening, after dinner and after a little more homework, I meandered my way upstairs to where I expected a peer ed wellness event to be held. I needed one more for the month for my phy ed class, and this was pretty much my last chance. The room had French students in it when I arrived, but soon they left and a group of 8 or so of us entered, anxious to just get the little signature and stamp that says we attended the event. 15 minutes after the presentation was supposed to have started, the instructor was still not there. It turned out, through no fault of our own, we were in the wrong room–we'd gone exactly where the email said to go, but the location changed again and no one bothered to pass that along. Surprise!
The rest of the evening brought more homework. Blech. But the important lessons for today: even small surprises, such as unexpectedly passing a friend in the Caf, can be very uplifting at the end of the day.
I'm writing this a few days later, but let's pretend that we're back on February 28th. Today is Day 1.
This morning I had breakfast with one of my best friends with whom I haven't had a proper chance to talk in too long a while. We had a fair amount of catching up to do, but in the course of conversation it came out that, in the not so recent past, she had had an eating disorder, and because of it had actually spent some number of days in the hospital in January. Surprise. That explained why she hadn't been very on top of answering my emails, and certainly why I hadn't seen her around much during interim. But she's doing better now, and is determined to take control back in her life. She's strong, I know she can do it.
Later in the day I received an email back from a newfound friend with whom I'd semi-awkwardly asked for a getting-to-know-you "caf-date"–that's just what it's called, they're usually not really "dates"–and she wasn't opposed (it may not be first on her todo list, but let's not quibble over semantics). I'm simply glad that my first invitation wasn't so gauche so as to end the friendship before it'd even begun.
Dinner needed to be fast paced - I had a lot of work to do before tomorrow, but standing in line for my tacos I did bump into another new friend from my interim class who I've been trying to get to know better. We didn't end up sitting together, and we were both in a hurry, but still, it's the little moments of merely saying "hi" (alongside whatever other quick conversation can be had) that can really brighten a day.
In the evening, after dinner and after a little more homework, I meandered my way upstairs to where I expected a peer ed wellness event to be held. I needed one more for the month for my phy ed class, and this was pretty much my last chance. The room had French students in it when I arrived, but soon they left and a group of 8 or so of us entered, anxious to just get the little signature and stamp that says we attended the event. 15 minutes after the presentation was supposed to have started, the instructor was still not there. It turned out, through no fault of our own, we were in the wrong room–we'd gone exactly where the email said to go, but the location changed again and no one bothered to pass that along. Surprise!
The rest of the evening brought more homework. Blech. But the important lessons for today: even small surprises, such as unexpectedly passing a friend in the Caf, can be very uplifting at the end of the day.
"Surprise Me" - It's not just for restaurants anymore
Anyone who's ever been to a restaurant with me knows that, when given a choice while ordering (like how I want my eggs done, or what kind of muffin I'd like), I will always tell the waiter or cashier to "surprise me". If they get confused, I'll prod them a little more by saying something like, "whatever your favorite is". My favorite time to do this is ordering at the Cage at St Olaf: my meal is usually the same, but then if I get a drink I'll just tell the cashier that I also want "a juice"; most of them get a chuckle when I pull the surprise line on them.
This past week, Terry Esau, author of "Surprise me: A 30 day faith experiment", visited campus and spoke at both chapel and FCA. Terry wrote his book based off an idea he had: the concept is that, for 30 days, he woke up every morning and simply prayed, "Surprise me, God", no strings attached. He still lived his life normally, still went to work each day, but open to the possibilities of whatever surprises God threw into his days.
When I saw Terry's name on the schedules, I knew I had to go listen. I'd heard him speak once some time ago on KTIS, but the opportunity to hear him live and in person (twice!) was not something I wanted to pass up.
What really touched me about Mr Esau's speeches was actually just how normal he was. Somehow, even though I should know better, I always just assume that those who are famous are somehow "different" from the rest of us, almost as if they're not human. But Terry was a real person. And he's a good speaker; highly entertaining, yet very thoughtful and intelligent, and he has that very calm, soothing, Mr Rogers-esque voice that makes you feel so relaxed and at the same time so intent on listening to everything he has to say.
What impressed me even more was Terry's outright honesty. At FCA he told us a story from his trip to Texas for homecoming weekend at his daughter's college. The nearby University Baptist Church coincidentally planned to start their own congregation-wide 30-day surprise me experiment that Sunday, and so Terry was asked to come share a few words during their morning service; he agreed readily, since, of course, he'd be in town already.
At this point in Terry's story nothing in particular stood out to me, other than when he made mention that this was David Crowder's home church, which I thought would be pretty neat to visit. Then the connection came. That was the day the church's pastor was electrocuted while performing a baptism. I remembered the story instantly from that day, but what I never knew until Terry told us was the connection that Sunday held to "surprise me". My point here is this: Terry wasn't afraid to admit he didn't have answers, and he wasn't afraid to encourage people to question God when bad things like that happen. 'The pastor invited God to surprise him, and 5 minutes later he's been electrocuted? What kind of surprise is that?' Terry's honest expression, his honest emotion, spoke to me as effectively as any of the other words he said that day. Admirable.
FCA ended, and, though I didn't rush out as quickly as I normally do, I didn't really straggle, either. But then I just couldn't leave Buntrock. In the stairwell, 10 feet from the door to the outside, I felt something calling me back, suggesting maybe I should go back up to the Caf, shake Terry's hand, and buy his book. I paused and contemplated. Now, I never carry cash in my wallet–it's quite the fluke when I have more than a few dollar bills in there, so I made the little "deal" thing with God: "If I have a $10 bill I'll go back and buy the book, otherwise, I'm going to head back to my dorm". Yes, of course, when I checked my wallet I had to start walking back upstairs to buy the book.
While I waited for Terry I sat down with Coach Nesbit, the 'responsible adult' for FCA, and we talked for a few minutes, just getting to know each other briefly. That was the other benefit of coming back: getting the opportunity to meet someone who may become one of my great mentors over the next year and a half while I'm at Olaf.
I bought the book, Terry signed it, we talked briefly, and I left.
Months ago, when I first heard Terry on the radio, I tried the "experiment" half heartedly for a few days, then let it go. I'm ready to give it a go again. Let the surprises begin.
This past week, Terry Esau, author of "Surprise me: A 30 day faith experiment", visited campus and spoke at both chapel and FCA. Terry wrote his book based off an idea he had: the concept is that, for 30 days, he woke up every morning and simply prayed, "Surprise me, God", no strings attached. He still lived his life normally, still went to work each day, but open to the possibilities of whatever surprises God threw into his days.
When I saw Terry's name on the schedules, I knew I had to go listen. I'd heard him speak once some time ago on KTIS, but the opportunity to hear him live and in person (twice!) was not something I wanted to pass up.
What really touched me about Mr Esau's speeches was actually just how normal he was. Somehow, even though I should know better, I always just assume that those who are famous are somehow "different" from the rest of us, almost as if they're not human. But Terry was a real person. And he's a good speaker; highly entertaining, yet very thoughtful and intelligent, and he has that very calm, soothing, Mr Rogers-esque voice that makes you feel so relaxed and at the same time so intent on listening to everything he has to say.
What impressed me even more was Terry's outright honesty. At FCA he told us a story from his trip to Texas for homecoming weekend at his daughter's college. The nearby University Baptist Church coincidentally planned to start their own congregation-wide 30-day surprise me experiment that Sunday, and so Terry was asked to come share a few words during their morning service; he agreed readily, since, of course, he'd be in town already.
At this point in Terry's story nothing in particular stood out to me, other than when he made mention that this was David Crowder's home church, which I thought would be pretty neat to visit. Then the connection came. That was the day the church's pastor was electrocuted while performing a baptism. I remembered the story instantly from that day, but what I never knew until Terry told us was the connection that Sunday held to "surprise me". My point here is this: Terry wasn't afraid to admit he didn't have answers, and he wasn't afraid to encourage people to question God when bad things like that happen. 'The pastor invited God to surprise him, and 5 minutes later he's been electrocuted? What kind of surprise is that?' Terry's honest expression, his honest emotion, spoke to me as effectively as any of the other words he said that day. Admirable.
FCA ended, and, though I didn't rush out as quickly as I normally do, I didn't really straggle, either. But then I just couldn't leave Buntrock. In the stairwell, 10 feet from the door to the outside, I felt something calling me back, suggesting maybe I should go back up to the Caf, shake Terry's hand, and buy his book. I paused and contemplated. Now, I never carry cash in my wallet–it's quite the fluke when I have more than a few dollar bills in there, so I made the little "deal" thing with God: "If I have a $10 bill I'll go back and buy the book, otherwise, I'm going to head back to my dorm". Yes, of course, when I checked my wallet I had to start walking back upstairs to buy the book.
While I waited for Terry I sat down with Coach Nesbit, the 'responsible adult' for FCA, and we talked for a few minutes, just getting to know each other briefly. That was the other benefit of coming back: getting the opportunity to meet someone who may become one of my great mentors over the next year and a half while I'm at Olaf.
I bought the book, Terry signed it, we talked briefly, and I left.
Months ago, when I first heard Terry on the radio, I tried the "experiment" half heartedly for a few days, then let it go. I'm ready to give it a go again. Let the surprises begin.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Awkwardness
I wrote this today for a new page I put up on my website biography about relationships and what I look for, but in the end it just didn't seem to fit there, and I didn't want to delete it and thus waste the time that had gone into writing it, so, well, here it is: Awkwardness.
I feel I must say something about awkwardness. I'm not really sure what I'm going to say, more just that something must be said. I think "the world would be a better place" if we were all a little more honest. How quaint. More to the point, I find it a shame that trying to meet someone can oftentimes carry an inherent bad-awkwardness with it. When I want to meet or get to know someone better (male or female, this doesn't necessarily need to remain restricted to carnal realms), it's as if I need a good reason, as if otherwise they will ask, "what right have you to dare talk to me?".
Such is a combination of both intimidation and awkward, true, but the point I'm going for is that, in a "perfect world", if I meet a new friend or classmate who I simply want to get to know better, (or, in fairness, who I happen to think is cute), two things: 1) I should not need a better reason than "I'd like to get to know you better as a friend", and, 2) there should not have to be any bad-awkwardness in asking her to join me for a meal in the Caf sometime (I write this from a St Olaf student's perspective, of course, but the illustration holds for other areas in life).
I say this all because it seems to me that there are a great number of relationships (friendships and otherwise) that don't happen, or aren't given the chance to happen, because of this pervading notion of bad-awkwardness. On the other hand, perhaps this is merely Jeremy being silly. In any case, this idea of awkwardness has been a real struggle for shy, introverted little me, and something that I'm working hard to simply start ignoring.
I feel I must say something about awkwardness. I'm not really sure what I'm going to say, more just that something must be said. I think "the world would be a better place" if we were all a little more honest. How quaint. More to the point, I find it a shame that trying to meet someone can oftentimes carry an inherent bad-awkwardness with it. When I want to meet or get to know someone better (male or female, this doesn't necessarily need to remain restricted to carnal realms), it's as if I need a good reason, as if otherwise they will ask, "what right have you to dare talk to me?".
Such is a combination of both intimidation and awkward, true, but the point I'm going for is that, in a "perfect world", if I meet a new friend or classmate who I simply want to get to know better, (or, in fairness, who I happen to think is cute), two things: 1) I should not need a better reason than "I'd like to get to know you better as a friend", and, 2) there should not have to be any bad-awkwardness in asking her to join me for a meal in the Caf sometime (I write this from a St Olaf student's perspective, of course, but the illustration holds for other areas in life).
I say this all because it seems to me that there are a great number of relationships (friendships and otherwise) that don't happen, or aren't given the chance to happen, because of this pervading notion of bad-awkwardness. On the other hand, perhaps this is merely Jeremy being silly. In any case, this idea of awkwardness has been a real struggle for shy, introverted little me, and something that I'm working hard to simply start ignoring.
EasyWorship Presentation from Boot Camp on a MacBook Pro
What the heck does that title mean? Okay, before I get into the specifics, here's the broad overview: EasyWorship is a piece of presentation software similar in some respects to PowerPoint (except it's not from the horrible evil empire known as Microsoft), that was designed specifically for use in a worship setting, such as a church, or contemporary Christian rock concert–Steven Curtis Chapman, when I saw him in concert a few years ago, definitely used EasyWorship or something similar.
A MacBook Pro is the type of laptop I have, made by Apple, running Mac OS X. Because Apple has migrated all their product lines to using Intel chipsets instead of PowerPC, my laptop is also capable of natively booting into Windows, and that's what "Boot Camp" is for. It's [currently Beta] software provided by Apple that allows one to dynamically repartition the laptop hard drive into two areas: one for Mac OS X and one for Windows.
Being the pioneer that I am, or rather, since EasyWorship only runs under Windows, I created a 15GB Boot Camp partition and installed Windows XP Pro, as well as Apple's Boot Camp drivers that help Windows function properly (I know there's a certain irony in that statement, in that nothing could possibly make Windows function properly, but specifically I meant in terms of screen resolution and other hardware integration). After running a slew of Windows Updates (manually–automatic, non-user-initiated updates are a bad idea on any platform) and installing the St Olaf provided Symantec Antivirus software, I installed the Windows Server 2003 Resource Kit Tools and ran remapkey to remap the left Command key (what Windows thought was a "Windows" key) to be another "Control", and the right Command key to be "Delete". I also installed Apple Mouse Utility from http://www.geocities.com/pronto4u/applemouse.html to teach Windows to treat a Control-Click as a right click. For kicks I also installed Quicktime and iTunes, then used Disk Utility back in OS X to create a disk image of the Boot Camp partition (so that I have a "pristine" state to fall back on in case anything gets screwed up later).
Lastly, I installed EasyWorship and imported the several hundred motion video backgrounds (these I had created by simply exporting video tracks of the backgrounds from Apple's LiveType software; I then re-exported each video as an AVI because EasyWorship does not yet support Quicktime movies).
The hardest part of the entire process honestly came in simply trying to get Windows to recognize a second display–fortunately a lot of others had already encountered this problem under Boot Camp and so Google found me some directions on how to fix it.
Why was this worth writing about? Because I think there's a good chance I'm the only one, or at least one of only very few, in the country who has this particular unique setup, and I just felt like sharing.
A MacBook Pro is the type of laptop I have, made by Apple, running Mac OS X. Because Apple has migrated all their product lines to using Intel chipsets instead of PowerPC, my laptop is also capable of natively booting into Windows, and that's what "Boot Camp" is for. It's [currently Beta] software provided by Apple that allows one to dynamically repartition the laptop hard drive into two areas: one for Mac OS X and one for Windows.
Being the pioneer that I am, or rather, since EasyWorship only runs under Windows, I created a 15GB Boot Camp partition and installed Windows XP Pro, as well as Apple's Boot Camp drivers that help Windows function properly (I know there's a certain irony in that statement, in that nothing could possibly make Windows function properly, but specifically I meant in terms of screen resolution and other hardware integration). After running a slew of Windows Updates (manually–automatic, non-user-initiated updates are a bad idea on any platform) and installing the St Olaf provided Symantec Antivirus software, I installed the Windows Server 2003 Resource Kit Tools and ran remapkey to remap the left Command key (what Windows thought was a "Windows" key) to be another "Control", and the right Command key to be "Delete". I also installed Apple Mouse Utility from http://www.geocities.com/pronto4u/applemouse.html to teach Windows to treat a Control-Click as a right click. For kicks I also installed Quicktime and iTunes, then used Disk Utility back in OS X to create a disk image of the Boot Camp partition (so that I have a "pristine" state to fall back on in case anything gets screwed up later).
Lastly, I installed EasyWorship and imported the several hundred motion video backgrounds (these I had created by simply exporting video tracks of the backgrounds from Apple's LiveType software; I then re-exported each video as an AVI because EasyWorship does not yet support Quicktime movies).
The hardest part of the entire process honestly came in simply trying to get Windows to recognize a second display–fortunately a lot of others had already encountered this problem under Boot Camp and so Google found me some directions on how to fix it.
Why was this worth writing about? Because I think there's a good chance I'm the only one, or at least one of only very few, in the country who has this particular unique setup, and I just felt like sharing.
Mr Deity
It's hilarious! That's about all I can say. www.mrdeity.com. From a filmmaker's perspective it was also fascinating to read their FAQ about the specific type of camera and microphone and everything that they used for shooting. Now, granted, there are many people who see these videos and post their little comments on YouTube objecting strongly to such 'horrible blasphemy', but (again, from reading the FAQs) because the creators' intent is not malicious, I take a healthier and more lighthearted approach and laugh along. Seriously, they're funny!
February
This has been a long time coming, seeing as I haven't written anything in a month! What all has even happened since I wrote last?
First, early in February, there was the Madrigal Dinner at Minnehaha. This annual fine arts fundraiser finds us transforming the gym into a medieval English castle, building a stage upon which the Madrigal singers perform, and creating a kingdom of tables to which choir students dressed as servants flock to serve a four course meal to patrons. Minnehaha hires me back each year to help on it (this is my fourth or fifth, depending how one counts), and, though the week-long adventure was very grueling, tiring, and frankly, draining, the production went quite well. Even those who came on Saturday (the first of the two performance nights, and therefore the most error prone), proclaimed that this year's Dinner was the best ever! This is quite a feat, given that last year was unquestionably the best up to its time, so to think we beat out even that level of perfection is no small task, and thus, somewhat rewarding.
The downside of Madrigals for me is that it comes during the first week of second semester, which means I missed classes Wednesday through Friday of that week, and obviously also didn't have any chance to attempt homework until I got back to school Monday. Almost a month later, I'm still playing catchup in one of my classes. Well, all my assignments have been turned in, it's just a matter now of finishing the assigned readings from this one class from the beginning of the semester. I'm hopeful this or next weekend will see that burden lifted away.
I brought my guitar in to have surgery mid February. Never fear, it wasn't broken, I just decided the time was right for me to finally have a pickup installed. Not that I'll actually be playing into a system anytime soon, but when I finally do get good enough to play for Selah, or church, or whatever, it's nice to know I can just go and do it without having to worry about new installations then. I also bought a strap (so I can play standing up) and finally invested in a hard shell case to protect the guitar better than the wimpy cloth bag it came in–this in itself made me just feel more professional, like I finally had a right to have this instrument.
I've been playing a lot better, and even more important, I'm truly enjoying the time I get to spend "bonding" with my instrument. I truly feel like this is part of God's calling for my life–I'm not sure exactly where it will lead, but I know this will be part of my ministry, and my practice times have sort of taken on the feel like an extra prayer time: a very calming time spent with God in the midst of a far too busy day.
That same Wednesday that I picked up my guitar was Ash Wednesday, and though I didn't realize it at the time, I do think it marked a certain change in my overall attitude. For any number of reasons, I'd been feeling very down since Madrigals, but that day (and since) everything started to really, truly look up again. I had an absolutely wonderful dinner with a new friend from my interim class, followed by two very different, yet very similar Ash Wednesday church services (first at Emmaus, then at Boe), and went to bed feeling as though all would finally be right in the world.
The weekend following saw me spending some number of hours working with Ryan on the Student Congregation website, a site I'd designed for them two years ago but that they never used. Even now, I'm not sure that anything more will be done with it beyond this one update, but thanks to Ryan's motivation and that time we got to spend working together, the site looks better than it ever did, and they'll be promoting it in the Boe services, which means my work will, at least for now, not have been in vain.
The weekend also brought a somewhat scary but most-needed Selah get-together and team-building time. Did I mention before I joined Selah? I'll be helping with slides (not PowerPoint–Microsoft is evil and should disappear; I'm using a different software program). Despite my worries, it was actually a fun time. Scary, yes, since I didn't know a lot of the members, and even though I'm a 'high and mighty junior' myself, I'm still innately shy and easily intimidated by groups of unknown people, even if a lot of them are freshmen. Plus consider that, the way my mind operates, slides has to be about at the bottom of the importance list–Selah worship can easily continue without any electronic media, whereas it can't as easily go on without instrumentalists and vocalists. Thus, intimidation: all these other people are so much more important to the group than little old me. Regardless of the potential lack of real-world logic behind that statement, such is the way my brain functions. In any case, the team building games were actually fun, and it was great to finally meet so many of the people I'll be working with over the next semester.
Later that night Kurt drove up to campus and we went over to Ytterboe to play guitar in the practice rooms–what an amazing night: we spent almost two hours there, and Kurt taught me several new songs and strumming patterns that I'd been anxious to learn, as well as a bit of this foreign idea they call "music theory". It was just plain cool, though, to get to spend time with one of my guitar heros and get to know him even more as a real person.
That Sunday night was my big night, my 'premiere' at Selah: EasyWorship, motion backgrounds, text dissolves, a brave new world of slide presentation. And it went really well. Because of the Oscars party in the Pause we set up everything in the Black and Gold Ballroom instead, which, in my opinion, is a nicer venue, anyway. Having my computer up and running in Windows (blech!), I went through each of the songs' slides with the band as they practiced, fixed typos, and generally prepared to impress the coming crowd. The consensus is that it looked nice and wasn't distracting. Yay! I won't get to run slides every week for Selah, since there are 5 people to rotate through, but I'm glad they were willing to give me this chance to bring something that, in my opinion, is new and really exciting.
One successful production under my belt (well, okay, I counted 12 mistakes, but I'm highly, highly critical and most people noticed only a few, if any), I volunteered to run the lyrics for Thursday Night Bible Study, and since they don't have anyone really in charge of that, it's looking like I'll have the opportunity to do that each week if I want. We went ahead with it last night, and, again, though I counted 5 mistakes, even Adam only caught 2, and he reassured me that, from a worshiper perspective, it looked great.
God gave me my skills, my computer, my past experiences in tech at MA, and access to evertything I needed to pull this together for a reason; now it's time for me to start giving back in the ways that I'm able, and I'm glad to mostly be over that hump of inhibiting worry that always kept me from stepping forward before.
First, early in February, there was the Madrigal Dinner at Minnehaha. This annual fine arts fundraiser finds us transforming the gym into a medieval English castle, building a stage upon which the Madrigal singers perform, and creating a kingdom of tables to which choir students dressed as servants flock to serve a four course meal to patrons. Minnehaha hires me back each year to help on it (this is my fourth or fifth, depending how one counts), and, though the week-long adventure was very grueling, tiring, and frankly, draining, the production went quite well. Even those who came on Saturday (the first of the two performance nights, and therefore the most error prone), proclaimed that this year's Dinner was the best ever! This is quite a feat, given that last year was unquestionably the best up to its time, so to think we beat out even that level of perfection is no small task, and thus, somewhat rewarding.
The downside of Madrigals for me is that it comes during the first week of second semester, which means I missed classes Wednesday through Friday of that week, and obviously also didn't have any chance to attempt homework until I got back to school Monday. Almost a month later, I'm still playing catchup in one of my classes. Well, all my assignments have been turned in, it's just a matter now of finishing the assigned readings from this one class from the beginning of the semester. I'm hopeful this or next weekend will see that burden lifted away.
I brought my guitar in to have surgery mid February. Never fear, it wasn't broken, I just decided the time was right for me to finally have a pickup installed. Not that I'll actually be playing into a system anytime soon, but when I finally do get good enough to play for Selah, or church, or whatever, it's nice to know I can just go and do it without having to worry about new installations then. I also bought a strap (so I can play standing up) and finally invested in a hard shell case to protect the guitar better than the wimpy cloth bag it came in–this in itself made me just feel more professional, like I finally had a right to have this instrument.
I've been playing a lot better, and even more important, I'm truly enjoying the time I get to spend "bonding" with my instrument. I truly feel like this is part of God's calling for my life–I'm not sure exactly where it will lead, but I know this will be part of my ministry, and my practice times have sort of taken on the feel like an extra prayer time: a very calming time spent with God in the midst of a far too busy day.
That same Wednesday that I picked up my guitar was Ash Wednesday, and though I didn't realize it at the time, I do think it marked a certain change in my overall attitude. For any number of reasons, I'd been feeling very down since Madrigals, but that day (and since) everything started to really, truly look up again. I had an absolutely wonderful dinner with a new friend from my interim class, followed by two very different, yet very similar Ash Wednesday church services (first at Emmaus, then at Boe), and went to bed feeling as though all would finally be right in the world.
The weekend following saw me spending some number of hours working with Ryan on the Student Congregation website, a site I'd designed for them two years ago but that they never used. Even now, I'm not sure that anything more will be done with it beyond this one update, but thanks to Ryan's motivation and that time we got to spend working together, the site looks better than it ever did, and they'll be promoting it in the Boe services, which means my work will, at least for now, not have been in vain.
The weekend also brought a somewhat scary but most-needed Selah get-together and team-building time. Did I mention before I joined Selah? I'll be helping with slides (not PowerPoint–Microsoft is evil and should disappear; I'm using a different software program). Despite my worries, it was actually a fun time. Scary, yes, since I didn't know a lot of the members, and even though I'm a 'high and mighty junior' myself, I'm still innately shy and easily intimidated by groups of unknown people, even if a lot of them are freshmen. Plus consider that, the way my mind operates, slides has to be about at the bottom of the importance list–Selah worship can easily continue without any electronic media, whereas it can't as easily go on without instrumentalists and vocalists. Thus, intimidation: all these other people are so much more important to the group than little old me. Regardless of the potential lack of real-world logic behind that statement, such is the way my brain functions. In any case, the team building games were actually fun, and it was great to finally meet so many of the people I'll be working with over the next semester.
Later that night Kurt drove up to campus and we went over to Ytterboe to play guitar in the practice rooms–what an amazing night: we spent almost two hours there, and Kurt taught me several new songs and strumming patterns that I'd been anxious to learn, as well as a bit of this foreign idea they call "music theory". It was just plain cool, though, to get to spend time with one of my guitar heros and get to know him even more as a real person.
That Sunday night was my big night, my 'premiere' at Selah: EasyWorship, motion backgrounds, text dissolves, a brave new world of slide presentation. And it went really well. Because of the Oscars party in the Pause we set up everything in the Black and Gold Ballroom instead, which, in my opinion, is a nicer venue, anyway. Having my computer up and running in Windows (blech!), I went through each of the songs' slides with the band as they practiced, fixed typos, and generally prepared to impress the coming crowd. The consensus is that it looked nice and wasn't distracting. Yay! I won't get to run slides every week for Selah, since there are 5 people to rotate through, but I'm glad they were willing to give me this chance to bring something that, in my opinion, is new and really exciting.
One successful production under my belt (well, okay, I counted 12 mistakes, but I'm highly, highly critical and most people noticed only a few, if any), I volunteered to run the lyrics for Thursday Night Bible Study, and since they don't have anyone really in charge of that, it's looking like I'll have the opportunity to do that each week if I want. We went ahead with it last night, and, again, though I counted 5 mistakes, even Adam only caught 2, and he reassured me that, from a worshiper perspective, it looked great.
God gave me my skills, my computer, my past experiences in tech at MA, and access to evertything I needed to pull this together for a reason; now it's time for me to start giving back in the ways that I'm able, and I'm glad to mostly be over that hump of inhibiting worry that always kept me from stepping forward before.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Beginning of the new Semester
You know you're going to have a lot of reading when you sign up for three religion classes, all on Tuesday-Thursdays, but I wasn't expecting one of them to take up an entire shelf's worth of books at the bookstore. Reading aside, though, I carefully chose each of these classes, so I am looking forward to all this reading, despite its sanity-taxing quantity.
Perhaps more importantly, I'm looking forward to these classes themselves. In all of them I have a vested personal interest in the subject material for my own growth as a person and as a Christian, and it will also help having a minimum of two friends in each class (completely unplanned, but a nice bonus). Two of the three professors, from their first day introduction lectures, seem like they'll be of the "great" variety, which will be especially critical for the class that meets at 8:00 am (oh, the pain!). The third teacher will probably be of the "average to good" variety, it's too early to judge. And of course it's worth mentioning the names of the courses: Jesus in Scripture and Tradition, Theology of Creation, Christian Theology and the Moral Life.
And then there's my Math/CS course: Theory of Computation. We started out nice and simple with stuff I knew, or at least sort of understood after taking Linear two years ago, but then we quickly moved to some more complicated things, things I didn't understand. I felt oh-so-much better after the teacher finished some lengthy mathematical statement with funny symbols and words on the board and proceeded to exclaim (in all sincerity) "that's just about as simple as it gets"...
One nice thing about that course is that I know the entire class (sans only one person), and I like the teacher (he's also my advisor, and the one with whom I traveled to India two summers ago). So, people-wise, it's going to be a good class, it's just the subject matter that will be dropping my GPA.
Lastly, I have a phy ed course, which, for as much as I was dreading it, is looking like it will go very well. I don't know anyone else in the class, but the teacher seems like he'll also be of the "really great" calibre; he is clearly very in-tune with what it means to be a student at St Olaf, and it was just amazing for me to hear someone so clear headed and "real" speaking from professor's shoes. It doesn't happen often, at least not to the degree he demonstrated.
Most importantly, more important than any classes, the start of the new semester means my best friends are back from their Global semester abroad! Last semester was a bit of a rough time without them around, so I'm absolutely ecstatic to see them again!
Perhaps more importantly, I'm looking forward to these classes themselves. In all of them I have a vested personal interest in the subject material for my own growth as a person and as a Christian, and it will also help having a minimum of two friends in each class (completely unplanned, but a nice bonus). Two of the three professors, from their first day introduction lectures, seem like they'll be of the "great" variety, which will be especially critical for the class that meets at 8:00 am (oh, the pain!). The third teacher will probably be of the "average to good" variety, it's too early to judge. And of course it's worth mentioning the names of the courses: Jesus in Scripture and Tradition, Theology of Creation, Christian Theology and the Moral Life.
And then there's my Math/CS course: Theory of Computation. We started out nice and simple with stuff I knew, or at least sort of understood after taking Linear two years ago, but then we quickly moved to some more complicated things, things I didn't understand. I felt oh-so-much better after the teacher finished some lengthy mathematical statement with funny symbols and words on the board and proceeded to exclaim (in all sincerity) "that's just about as simple as it gets"...
One nice thing about that course is that I know the entire class (sans only one person), and I like the teacher (he's also my advisor, and the one with whom I traveled to India two summers ago). So, people-wise, it's going to be a good class, it's just the subject matter that will be dropping my GPA.
Lastly, I have a phy ed course, which, for as much as I was dreading it, is looking like it will go very well. I don't know anyone else in the class, but the teacher seems like he'll also be of the "really great" calibre; he is clearly very in-tune with what it means to be a student at St Olaf, and it was just amazing for me to hear someone so clear headed and "real" speaking from professor's shoes. It doesn't happen often, at least not to the degree he demonstrated.
Most importantly, more important than any classes, the start of the new semester means my best friends are back from their Global semester abroad! Last semester was a bit of a rough time without them around, so I'm absolutely ecstatic to see them again!
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