Monday, December 07, 2009

Why I believe the Manhattan Declaration causes more harm than good

One of my friends recently blogged about something called the Manhattan Declaration. It’s a 7-page letter drafted by 3 conservative Christians expressing their opinions on how Christians should respond to several hot social issues.

After reading it, I found myself shaking, vastly disappointed not only in those "Christians" who created the Declaration, but also those who choose to endorse it. The Declaration claims to speak for Christians. Instead, it makes me ashamed to call myself one.

With my frustration vented in those words, the easy course would be to stop here. Instead, I feel I need to go into detail, to explain exactly why I’m so upset. I write this out of my own frustration, but also because I care: I care about seeing reform in the Church, and I see the Manhattan Declaration as moving us in the opposite direction from where we should be headed.

The Declaration itself appears to encourage such a reflection:

We call upon all people of goodwill, believers and non-believers alike, to consider carefully and reflect critically on the issues we here address as we, with St. Paul, commend this appeal to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.

And so, after many hours, here is my critical reflection:




Preamble


The Declaration’s preamble lists some of the good things Christianity has done throughout history. There are some true gems in there: caring for the sick, fighting slavery, fighting for civil rights, etc. Yes, the Church has done some good. The authors conveniently forget things like the Crusades, the suppression of scientific advances (the earth is the center of the universe, remember?), the oppression of women (which continues in modern day Catholicism and several other denominations), etc. But in all fairness, none of those are core issues at stake, and being that this is a religious, not historical, document, I’m okay letting it slide. So, really, nothing terribly objectionable in the preamble.




Life


1) Abortion


The authors deserve great credit for including this statement:

We will work, as we have always worked, to bring assistance, comfort, and care to pregnant women in need…. [The] truly Christian answer to problem pregnancies is for all of us to love and care for mother and child alike.

This is a well thought out and healthy response, they did well here. Because I’ve gone back and forth in my views on abortion, while I personally [currently] disagree with their viewpoint on the immorality of all abortions, I can, on this topic, simply agree to disagree. If the authors and signers fulfill this social promise to care for the pregnant women in need (or, if not completely fulfill, at least give a good faith effort), then more power to them, and kudos.

With that said, though, I must also acknowledge the necessity of separation of church and state, something for which I have only in recent years gained an appreciation. By this I mean: the authors, and the Church, are welcome to hold their stance against abortions, but they ought not decree law, because, at least in this country, we are not a theocracy.

2) Embryonic Research


Sadly, the church has often stood opposed to science and scientific advances, so to hear that view reiterated in yet another modern day context doesn’t really surprise me.

At issue here is the question of when life begins (vs "potential life"), for which, to my knowledge, no one has yet produced a solid, definitive, and scientifically credible answer.

Personally, I believe there’s great potential benefit in embryonic research. To imagine that we could one day rehabilitate spinal injuries, I think it would be irresponsible not to pursue these advances. But I also don’t see this as a core issue of Christianity (in fact, *nothing* in the entire Declaration seems to be an actual core issue… hmm…), so again, I’m willing to agree to disagree.


3) Euthanasia


Death is tricky. When it comes to end-of-life care, I generally put it in these terms: what would I want if it were me or my family? My parents and I had that discussion a few years ago when Terri Schiavo was in the news. We all agreed: none of us wanted to be in that situation.

Heart-wrenching, end-of-life decisions are difficult enough, and thus belong solely in the hands of the family, their pastors, and the doctors, not politicians or religious protestors.

The flip side: opening the door to any form of legal euthanasia quickly becomes a slippery slope issue. The Church is right to be concerned and to encourage just legislation... but along with that comes a responsibility to approach the issue with intelligence. End-of-life decisions for patients with no chance of recovery in no way equates to eugenics, as the Manhattan authors seem to suggest.

I believe the message here ought to be: leave this one in the hands of individual pastors, rather than trying to apply a blanket, catch-all rule. Life and death are far too complex for that.

What the authors leave out


Left out of the discussion are capital punishment and war, in my opinion the most important "sanctity of life" issue. (There is one passing mention of war victims, but it’s barely noticeable). If the Church ought to be riles up about anything, I would want it to be riled up about these two issues. Unlike the issues the authors do bother to discuss, capital punishment actually affects living people, is morally dubious at best, and promotes punishment rather than rehabilitation - these are not New Testament ideals. (yes, the Old Testament condones capital punishment, but set in context, the OT law is one of the most progressive ancient world legal systems, on par with the Code of Hammurabi)

Related to war, one of the most important questions we can ask: why is my life as an American any more valuable than that of a non-American? If the Church truly wants to be counter-cultural, this would be a good place to start.


Marriage


I’ll lambast in a few moments, but first I must acknowledge some true pieces of gold. The Declaration rightly expresses concern over the dramatic increase in out-of-wedlock birth rate, infidelity, and divorces. They go on to state:

To strengthen families, we must stop glamorizing promiscuity and infidelity and restore among our people a sense of the profound beauty, mystery, and holiness of faithful marital love.

Amen. Well spoken. And I wholeheartedly agree. Hollywood and popular culture have cheapened marriage, and that saddens me. The Declaration authors are right to express their concerns.

Unfortunately, my agreement ends shortly thereafter. The Declaration goes on to, in my words, "lovingly condemn" homosexuals. Here’s what I mean. The authors do acknowledge that:

We, no less than they [homosexual persons], are sinners who have fallen short of God’s intention for our lives. We, no less than they, are in constant need of God’s patience, love and forgiveness.

On very basic principle, taken out of context, I agree with that statement… in that I agree ALL persons "have fallen short". And I truly must commend the authors on delivering what is perhaps the most gracious and loving language I’ve seen from the conservative’s camp on this topic. Seriously, their attention to nuance is inspirational, and at the very least, I pray that those who are more conservative would take what the authors have written to heart. There is some actual good that could come from it.

But the authors grievously err in their presupposition that homosexuality is inherently sinful. This is the hot button for me, since at least half of my closest friend group is GLBT, and some of them are in committed relationships more honoring to God than many heterosexual couples I know. I honestly can’t believe that the Church is still up in arms about homosexuality, seeing as it’s mentioned exactly 0 times in the Gospel (so clearly it was of fundamental importance to Jesus, the person we’re supposed to be imitating... wait…)

There are a few Biblical verses from Leviticus and Paul’s letters that are always used to condemn homosexuality, but these all speak of lustful acts performed in order to shame God (much the same as heterosexuals do all the time… except no one is persecuting them), and not about committed, monogamous marriages as we see them today. There are plenty of laws, for ALL people, heterosexual and otherwise, about sexual purity, but none that actually address homosexual marriage commitments. To any who disagree with me, the burden of proof is on you to provide any Scriptural evidence to the contrary. (I’d also add, if you bother to read Leviticus, in addition to sexual purity laws, it also commands believers to stone anyone who works on the Sabbath, to stone adulterers, and not to weave cloth from two different kinds of thread. I’m always curious why the conservatives don’t ever try to enforce these laws...)

The Declaration expresses concern about "family values". I would pose this question for consideration: how are "family values" threatened by monogamous, committed, publicly accountable marriage covenants between two people who love each other and want to raise a family? That seems like a pretty good definition of "family values" to me. Why should gender matter?

The Declaration goes on to purport that allowing equal marriage rights will lead to polygamous or incestuous marriages… I don’t know any effective method of arguing against irrationality, so my only response is for anyone who actually believes that to go out and talk to a gay person, rather than about them.

Now here’s what really doesn’t make any sense to me: in the Declaration’s previous section, discussing "life", the authors say the following:

We call on all officials in our country, elected and appointed, to protect and serve every member of our society, including the most marginalized, voiceless, and vulnerable among us.

The Bible enjoins us to defend those who cannot defend themselves, to speak for those who cannot themselves speak.

I can’t possibly be the only one to spot the irony: the authors first claim a desire to serve and protect the marginalized, those who are defenseless, but then proceed to attack one of the most commonly marginalized groups today: the GLBT community. Does Christian hypocrisy surprise me anymore? No, of course not, we’re all human. But it does disappoint me. The authors would do well to read their own work, perhaps it would enlighten them.

More importantly, though: how is a GLBT Christian supposed to respond? I’m a straight, white, middle class American male, I have it pretty easy in life, and this isn’t an issue I’ve personally had to wrestle with. But half of my closest friends have. How does one choose between their faith in God and their sexual identity? It’s as perverse as if asking an African-American to choose either their ethnicity or their faith. The homophobia and prejudice presented by the Declaration is as vile as racism, sexism, and religious intolerance. It’s saying that being the person you were born is a sin. I thought we’d moved past that in this country, and so it saddens me greatly that the Church, of all organizations, should be the one promoting continuing persecution. Have we learned nothing from the civil rights and suffrage movements?

For over 260,000 signers of the declaration to date, the answer is apparently "no".

I find it revolting when fear and prejudice try to hide behind God’s name.

If individual churches choose to oppose to equal marriage rights, I suppose that’s their prerogative. To those churches I say this: remember the separation between Church and State, and keep your hatred, fear, and prejudice out of my legislature.


Religious Liberty


I was hoping this section might have discussed the recent trend of saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". Because I might have been in agreement with the authors had they touched that subject.

No such luck.

1) Conscience Clauses


The authors express their unhappiness that Christian health-care professionals are forced to refer or perform abortions. While I can appreciate such a person’s plight, each individual chose that profession, and with accepting their job agreed to do their job.

The Declaration also laments the closing of a Catholic adoption agency because they discriminated against GLBT adopters. I believe that’s referred to as "illegal discrimination"… I guess I don’t understand what part of "illegal" didn’t make sense to the authors...

One of my friends was fired from her job at a so-called "Christian" Bible camp last summer. It was her second year, she’d worked there the previous summer, was well-liked, had many friends amongst the staff. But it came out that she was in a loving, committed, Christian relationship. With another girl. She was told to choose: leave her employment, or leave the girl she was dating.

I wish she would have pursued legal action; unfortunately, the camp will get away with it.

2) Hate Crimes Laws


The authors are concerned that new legislation will prevent pastors from preaching against homosexuality and abortion from the pulpit.

I’m undecided here, because there is that line between Church and State. As for abortion, while I disagree with the view, I’m inclined to say such speech is protected under the 1st Amendment. I don’t particularIy see the church alienating those who have had abortions, but if that’s what the pastors really want to do, I think it’s their right. I can at least hope they’ll approach such a topic with a view of love and reconciliation.

As concerns anti-homosexual speech from the pulpit, this equates to no less than preaching about hating black people, or women, or Jews, or Indians, of Muslims, or anything. Whatever laws govern other hate speech ought also apply to sermons related to anti-homosexuality.

A couple years ago, one of my very best friends, who also happens to be homosexual, and an atheist, was hired as a church secretary. Since then, she has come to believe in God again. What would have happened if that church had turned her away?

The End


The Declaration ends with an invitation to incite civil disobedience against unChristian and unjust laws. Laws that give people equal rights and stuff. Because, of course, it’s not like that’s what our country was founded on or anything. Christianity ought to be defined by who we include, rather than who we choose to exclude from Jesus’ table.

The Declaration was written by leading conservative Christians, and cannot be assumed to speak for all Christians world-wide. Instead of bringing church unity, it instead alienates people like me - people who are already fed up with "the Church". It alienates and marginalizes those who have had abortions, those who are divorced, the GLBT and Christian GLBT communities, and those who have had to make difficult end-of-life decisions for their loved ones. Rather than offering reconciliation with God, the Declaration builds one more obstacle between God and the people He loves.

The Declaration causes more harm than good.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Once an Awaken Song, Always an Awaken Song

A few weeks ago, I was listening to music in the car from my iPhone. A few songs into the Genius playlist, the resurrection song from Awaken this past year played, and I instantly teared up. Months later, hundreds of miles away, that song still evoked those same emotions I felt watching the drama: watching Jesus be buried; the tomb lighting up; my friends Kayla and Jessie, the Roman guards, running away; Brandon/God/Jesus appearing on the stage and defeating Courtney/Satan, the song instantly brought me back to that place. Apparently, once an Awaken song, always an Awaken song.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

"Let's get this ball rolling!"

This afternoon three of my friends performed in an acting showcase, the culmination of weeks of training. Though I'm sure they'll critique themselves, I thought they all did splendidly (as anticipated :)

Afterward, one of them asked me when we'd be shooting my next film project, FAR AWAY. I replied that I'm hoping for next summer, but it really depends on how quickly I can raise $200,000 to green-light the production. Usually when I tell that to people they chuckle. But Corey did something different. Rather than respond with nervous laughter, his reply went something like this: "Well, I've got $10 in my pocket, let's get this ball rolling!".

This evening, as I've reflected more on that moment, I've once again come to feel truly humbled. Corey knew only the basic premise and overarching theme for the movie (the "elevator pitch", as I'm told it's called), and yet he believed so much both in the story and in my passion and ability that he made his pledge right there, no waiting around.

I feel inspired and invigorated, awed and humbled.

It's interesting, also - yesterday afternoon I was telling my parents how far things were coming along, and they made the same metaphorical reference: the ball is rolling already. To hear Corey independently make the same reference today may have just been coincidence, it may have been just a common figure of speech, but I choose to believe it's a Higher confirmation that this movie will happen!

$10 pledged, only $199,990 to go. In all seriousness, I see that as meaning we're well on our way. Praise God.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Wonderment

During Awaken last year, before each performance, after rehearsal had finished but before the cast left to start putting on their makeup, we all took 10 minutes for quiet prayer/meditation/preparation in the sanctuary. During this time, Jon played two instrumental songs over our speakers: "Wonderment", by Kerry Muzzey, and "Ben" from the National Treasure soundtrack (essentially the theme song of the movie).

Before last night, I never really understood Kerry's song, "Wonderment." During Awaken it evoked for me a sense of preparing to run into battle, like in Narnia or Lord of the Rings. Last night, it had new meaning: in reflecting on my journey so far toward my next film project (a modern day retelling of Job from the Old Testament), I stood in wonderment of how far God has brought me. So many things fell into place this past week, I'm left with nothing but amazement at how God is working here. And so I understood: the "pre-battle" excitement I felt during Awaken – it doesn't necessarily need to be a battle, but rather, something wonderful, something Epic – the excitement of the adventure to come.

I'm left in Wonderment of God.

It's a good place to be.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Looking for a New Church

For several months I’ve wondered whether True Light Covenant would be my church “home”. Sunday morning I got my answer loud and clear: Absolutely not.

Ironically, when I walked in things actually felt better than normal - several people greeted me, very kindly, with smiles, shook my hand, and I truly felt welcomed. The worship set was good, also, and the sermon introduction sounded promising: the idea that God calls us to excel, not just get by with “good enough”. I had thought, if only for those brief minutes, that today finally things would turn around - True Light would become my home.

Unfortunately, the pastor took a turn for the worse while talking about sexual morality. And of course he had to go off on what I now commonly refer to as “the issue” (aka, homosexuality). And he railed on the ELCA for their recent vote to approve of partnered clergy, saying “they voted on a sin!”

I was ready to walk out then and there. Before I did, I prayed, and I felt God calling me to stay, that there would be something worthwhile for me before I left. And I suppose I also hoped the pastor might somehow finagle himself back out of this hole he had dug.

The latter did not happen; the former did… marginally. Unfortunately at this point I was fuming so terribly that I could no longer focus with any degree of clarity. I heard something about excelling in the work place… something something. And to the pastor’s credit, he did also spend equal time going off about premarital sex for heterosexual couples, so that was a pleasant change from how most off-the-deep-end conservative sermons go.

At this point I suppose I ought to explain why, exactly, I was so furious. The answer is really quite simple: while I myself am straight, half of my absolute closest friends are GLBT (and a significant number of my second and third tier friends, as well).

Secondly, hearing one too many conservative nut-jobs on the radio was what drove me away from the church several years ago, and it’s been a very long road coming back. It’s those sermons that make me ashamed to have any connection to “Christianity.”

Thirdly, I’ve spent more than my fair share of time studying the theology - I’ve heard all the arguments, I think they’re all bunk, and it’s fairly easy to systematically prove that… to any reasonable human being who’s actually willing to listen, rather than just regurgitate Old Testament theology (that, in my humble opinion, doesn’t really have a home in modern day Christian thought; count, for example, the number of times Jesus ever mentions anything that could even remotely relate to homosexuality: 0).

This is an important issue to me - I quit one of my web design jobs last year because of this. And so, as I said, I was fuming.

As soon as the service ended, while the congregation was singing along with the praise team, I scurried out right behind the pastor. In the back, he smiled and held out his hand to shake mine. I refused. “Well,” I said, “I’ve been wondering if this would be my church home, and now I have my answer. I can’t feel at home here, I will never be back.”

I began walking away, and he looked at me incredulously and asked, “Why?” I told him: “A few months ago, Dan [the former worship leader] said that he had met a lesbian who didn’t go to church and he told her that she’d be welcome at True Light. And now I find out that that’s absolutely not true. You just alienated half of my closest friends.”

At this point the conversation became heated. And people were starting to come out of the chapel, so I just wanted to leave and not make a scene. As I continued to edge nearer the door, he retorted that “of course they’re still welcome”. If I’d been thinking more quickly, my ideal response would have been akin to “Not after the gospel of hate you just preached”. Instead, my reply was less well-thought-out: “No they’re not” or something. What really hurt was his audacity to then declare that I “just don’t understand.” My reply was most definitely out of sheer anger, bordering on hate. I told him I would never come back to this church, and that I hoped never to see him again.

In retrospect, I know this was an overreaction. In the heat of the moment, emotions win. And there were some powerful emotions that day.

It’s very hard to separate the sin from the person. I’m struggling. It’s hard not to look at him and place blame for all that’s wrong with Christianity in America. It’s harder to remember that I’m no better, just in different ways.

In rehashing the memory in my mind, I reconstruct the scene similarly to a scene near the end of Star Wars III, where ObiWan is crying/yelling at Anakin: “You were the Chosen One!” If you know the scene, allow me to rewrite O-W Kenobi’s dialog: “You’re a Pastor! You’re supposed to be a reflection of God’s Love in this world, not one who fills it with hatred!” If only I’d been so quick-witted.

When I got home, I did the most logical thing anyone does after a traumatic experience: I updated my Facebook status.

Jeremy Gustafson is sad. And angry. And upset. God is good, and Christ is Good, so why are Christians such self-righteous and hateful jerks? (ie, I'm never going back to True Light Covenant ever again)

By the end of the day, numerous people had commented. And I want to respond to those now:


Comment 1: Good. Judging by the name of it, it's not a righteous place anyway (if there can be any righteousness in a place). The TRUE and the only light?

Truth be told, it’s not the place, it was just the one man. The people overall are friendly, and I harbor no ill feelings toward them. I honestly fear for the new Christians in the group, though.


Comment 2: Gandhi is often quoted as having said, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

I have a Muslim friend who thinks the same of the Taliban. Whenever they come up in conversation, she asks, "are we even reading the same book?" I am beginning to think the same of Christians sometimes.


I completely agree. This quote came to mind even before you wrote it - it’s been a constant companion to me for a long time :)


Comment 3: Why even read the book? It's filled with hatred and stories of revenge... sanctioned by god. Gives me shivers.

The Old Testament is filled with such stories. The New Testament (which is most definitely not from where Sunday’s sermon heralded) tells a much different story… I’ve never really been one to actually recommended reading the Bible, but in this case I’ll break my trend: check out Luke (you can read it online for free at www.biblegateway.com).

Or, if you’re strapped for time, I’m sure there’s SparkNotes or Wikipedia entries that summarize it. My point is, the NT gives a dramatically different picture of God.

Lastly, from a secular point of view, it’s important to have basic Biblical literacy in order to understand the vast majority of English literature.


Comment 4: Hey Jeremy, just thinking about you and I hope all is well for you. Maybe someday you can visit my church. I think you would like it.

I’ll definitely check it out. I’ll message you soon…


Comment 5: Not all who claim to be Christians, are Christians...Real Christians will never make you feel the way you do now. So let's not loose our faith in Christianity because of a few pretenders. That line of thinking is the easiest way to justify turning your back on Christ.

You’ve nailed it. The last line in particular. The first time I dealt with this issue, that was my solution: to run away. This time, I know better. My faith in the church has certainly taken a significant hit, but my faith in God, in Christ, will not waver because of the actions of men. Thank you, sincerely, for the reminder.


Comment 6: I feel your pain, I have a similar situation here, but I believe God has called me to pray for them and help them repent. I will pray for you to love in spite of them.

It’s been hard - I’m not at a point yet where I’ve been able to pray sincerely for the pastor. Unless half-hearted prayers count for something… Blessings and peace to you as well, though, as you deal with your situation. Maybe we’ll form a support group for each other :)


Comment 7: These are the people being addressed in the book of Jude, I think. It's short - read it. Then come to Bethlehem Covenant. Ryan Eikenbary-Barber is back!

I’ll check out Jude sometime soon. And I might come to Bethlehem sometime; I find it very difficult to worship in traditional worship services, though, so I won’t promise being a regular attender.


That's enough for one blog post. New Church recommendations welcome. And prayers, also: for my former pastor, for that congregation, for the Church as a whole, for love and reconciliation.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Compressor and Qmaster Cluster

In preparation to create the Harry Putter 2 DVD, I borrowed (with permission) a number of Macbooks from work and set up my own little render farm at home. I installed Apple’s Qmaster package on each machine, which would allow my laptop to use them as a distributed computing network. In principal, it’s supposed to be really easy. In practicality, it sort of was, but not really.

The Qadministrator application is incredibly picky. If you do things right, it works great, but if just one variable isn’t to its liking, it beach-balls and won’t respond. Worse, it destroys the cluster you were trying to save and you have to start all over. After doing this several times, it goes pretty quickly, but still, it’s frustrating.

Anyway, here are some tips and tricks I learned while battling with Qmaster and Compressor (version 3, so yes I know this is already out of date, but may be useful for anyone who hasn’t upgraded to Apple’s latest and greatest)

Software Update


Before you think about doing anything else, before you even open up Qadministrator to create a cluster, update all your machines to the latest OS (10.5.7 as of this writing). Also, after installing the Qmaster package on each render node machine, run Software Update again and install any Pro Application Support or Quicktime updates. Without these installed on every machine Qadministrator will not be able to set up your cluster.

To set up you Qmaster cluster, follow this excellent tutorial: http://www.macworld.com/article/49047/2006/01/marcchreateside.html

Also, note that if you’re setting up machines that have more than one processor (any dual core MacBook or MacBook Pro, for example), you can highlight the Compressor service in the Apple Qmaster System Preferences pane, click “Options for selected service”, and choose as many instances as you have processors (so, dual cores = 2 instances). I’ve found it convenient on my master node (my personal laptop) to leave this at 1 less than the maximum so that compressord leaves me a little bit of processor power to check email, etc, but it doesn’t matter too much. The important lesson is to take advantage of those dual cores where you can.

Lastly, whenever you make changes to your cluster in Qadminister, do it slowly. And by that I mean one change at a time. Then quit. Then open Qadministrator up again and make another change, and so on. The alternative is that you might get an error message saying it’s unable to save the changes to the cluster, and next time you open Qadministrator your cluster has disappeared. Now you must go to every single stinkin’ machine, open the Apple Qmaster System Preferences pane, stop sharing, hold down option and click “Reset Services”, then start sharing again. On every machine. And a reboot doesn’t hurt then, either.


Audio Sync Problems


When rendering some of my videos I ran into audio sync problems. Specifically, I found them when compressing MPEG-2 and Dolby 2.0 streams for DVD, using a video that was either 23.98 or 24 fps. Oh, right, by the way, in Compressor 3, in order to use Qmaster to render a video, you need to export a Self-Contained-Quicktime-Movie file (SCQTM as I’ve seen it commonly abbreviated) first, then send that file through Compressor. I understand Apple fixed this in Compressor 3.5 so that you can use QT reference movies, but in v.3 it needs to be a SCQTM.

The issue I saw was that, even for short, two minute clips, the audio would be off sync by almost 1 second toward the end. But only when I compressed through the cluster. If I encoded the job on my local machine, no issue, looked beautiful (and obviously, I checked, the SCQTM file played correctly). Sidenote, I used a program called MPEG Streamclip to preview the renders without having to bring them into DVD Studio Pro, or, worse, actually burn a real disc.

After literally hours scouring Google, I finally broke down and called Apple’s “expert support” service (I’m not saying that sarcastically, that’s what it’s actually called). The guy I spoke to (Jon), recommended I disconnect some of the machines from the cluster and see if that made a difference. Apparently “network latency” can cause audio sync issues.

I was skeptical, and I still can’t wrap my mind around why that would make any difference, but nevertheless I tried it, screwed up Qadministrator, reset services and rebooted, and then sent the batch job through again, this time with only 1 extra computer in the cluster. Everything came out correctly. Hmm. I added computers one at a time until I realized that it was the computers networked on my second switch that would cause problems. Well, not the computers themselves, but the fact that there was a second switch between those machines and the master node. Thus I’ve determined you can probably have as many computers as you want in a cluster, as long as they’re physically all on the same switch. At least, for certain types of encoding - oddly, one timeline that was 59.97fps encoded perfectly fine with the entire cluster, it’s just the 23.98fps sequences that didn’t.


Incomplete Rendered Movies


Another issue I had was that some movies came through incomplete. The last minute or two of footage just hadn’t been encoded. The SCQTM was all there, but the MPEG-2 stopped about 95% of the way through.

I’ve finally determined this was my own ingenuity working against me. Early on in the process, I saved my Compressor batch file with all my sources, destinations, and settings for my entire DVD contents. This way I made sure I wouldn’t forget anything when I needed to render everything after I finished editing. Unfortunately, Compressor apparently keeps track of movie length, so after I added some clips to my FCP timeline and exported a new SCQTM, Compressor didn’t recognize the movie as being any longer than it was before, so it only encoded the length of the original movie. Deleting the job from the Compressor file and re-adding it solved this problem.


That’s all for now. Hopefully this will help at least one desperate person someday.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Privilege

Shopping at Rainbow, a nearby grocery store, often proves to be a humbling reminder of how privileged a life I lead. A few weeks ago, the cashier asked the gentleman in front of me if he wanted to become a Roundy’s Reward member: ‘It only takes a few minutes and all you need is a name and phone number’. “Well”, he replied, “that answers that, I don’t have a phone.” He seemed like a very nice guy, it’s hard for me to imagine, though, what that life would be like not being able to afford a phone. Admittedly, I could be wrong in assuming that - he may very well choose not to have a phone, I’m just drawing my conclusion based on his state of dress, and also that he paid with cash and not plastic.

I rarely see plastic cards used at Rainbow, it seems like most shoppers are 'just getting by' financially. It’s strange, picturing that, because I’ve never needed to worry about having money to buy groceries - on this particular day I remember I didn’t even look at my total bill, just swiped my card and moved on. Definitely a life of privilege.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Honor vs Obligation

For the first time, this year I was privileged to march with the Minnehaha faculty and staff for graduation. I’ve looked forward to this event for 5 years, and now, finally, with my fancy college degree, I could don a black robe and look smart.

While all faculty are required to walk in the procession, staff are not, and, in fact, very few staff ever choose to. So it’s an interesting difference in perspective: for the faculty who have been around for a long time, this march has become just another obligation, whereas for me it was a great honor, an event I’ve anticipated for years.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

No More Yellow Pages

A few weeks ago I came home and found a massive pile of Phone Books on my front door step. Okay, it was only two books, but in my mind I was screaming at the injustice - why kill a tree to print a useless book that I'm just going to recycle and never use?

I found another blogger who adamantly agrees with me:

http://www.thedeets.com/2008/06/16/how-to-unsubscribe-from-the-yellow-pages/


And he turned me on to this site to opt out of phone book delivery. I signed up. I hope it works.

http://www.yellowpagesgoesgreen.org/

Monday, June 01, 2009

Time for a Promotion

In The Devil Wears Prada, Nigel tells Anne Hathaway's character, "Let me know when your entire life goes up in smoke, then it's time for a promotion."

That quote has stuck with me ever since, because, well, last summer I pretty much devoted my entire life to work, and while the paychecks were very nice (I'm paid hourly, plus time-and-a-half overtime), I've made a deliberate effort since then to not let work consume me; my personal life needs to take priority, otherwise I run a very real risk of becoming a workaholic. The Devil Wears Prada resonated with me so strongly because, in the end, Anne's character finally makes this decision for herself, as well; moreso, we even see a glimpse of jealousy from Miranda, her [former] overtaxing boss. Miranda lost her family and has no real friends because she could not escape the lifestyle of the rich and famous and successful - that's not where I want to see my life going.