Not seminary. Lesson learned in LA a couple weeks ago: I can't sit in a classroom, not right now. 10, 20 years from now, seminary might happen. But not now. I'm called to ministry now.
What does that mean? What does that look like?
I have some ideas, I don't have answers.
I miss playing guitar. I don't get to play at church, I don't get to play at school for chapel, and I miss it. And I can honestly say, I don't miss it because of selfishness: I miss it because I know that's supposed to be a form of ministry, a gift God has given me and I'm to use responsibly, but nevertheless I am supposed to use it.
When I was in LA, when we were hanging out in Santa Monica, Bernadett said to me "when you get out here, I think we should grab our guitars and minister to the people, like these street performers". That was the best idea I've ever heard. Especially because it came from someone else - not me. That removes my fear of "am I doing this just for myself?"
And this year I'm in AWAKEN. How can I bring that to LA with me? Because I'm not ready to leave it behind.
This weekend in the mime I played Peter, and my big scene, my "time to shine" as the director put it, is telling the story when I walked on water. I set the scene, I illustrate that I'm in a boat, I look out over the sea, and I stop, I see something; jumping to the other side of the stage, I point at Jesus, and then I mime Him, calling me (Peter), gesturing, "come to me"; "me? no no no you've got the wrong guy"; "Yes! You! Come to me!". Cautiously I step over the edge of the boat. I take a couple steps! Excitement! I'm doing it! I stumble. He catches me. It was all by His power.
The power of that scene didn't hit me until today. My friend Dan stopped by my office, something was wonky with his computer. Then we talked. I shared my story. He pointed out to me the passion he heard in my voice as I told him about AWAKEN. And then I don't even remember the context, but he made a similar beckoning gesture that I used during the mime, and I realized "Oh my. God, maybe there's something deeper here?". Maybe God's beckoning, gesturing for me to step out of my comfortable boat, walk on water. Not by my power, by His. I already know anything I would do to bring AWAKEN, or something similar, to California is so beyond my power. But not beyond His. And as Dan pointed out, even when you walk on water, and fall, there's a hand reaching down to grab you and pull you back up.
One of my friends from AWAKEN two years ago is living in California, not too far from LA. Yesterday I posted on her FB wall, what would you think about starting an AWAKEN ministry in CA? I admitted I don't know if that's what God's Calling me toward, it's just an idea. For now.
She said that's the best idea she's ever heard.
I know I'm called to ministry. Counseling friends, that will never get old. I can do that anytime, anywhere. And that's enough. Or is it? Is it a stepping stone? What's next?
I don't know.
But I'm excited to find out.