Friday, October 14, 2016

Wedding FAQs, October edition

Are you getting excited?

Sure? Right now we are both fairly stressed with how many "to-dos" we have left to turn into "been-dones", that it's hard to feel excitement (or any other emotion, other than stress). I'm more excited for life together after the wedding, which is probably a good thing. Like I wrote in June, I hope our wedding day isn't the best day of my whole life!

How is planning going?

If I can manage to wrestle my emotions out of the way, honestly we're doing pretty well. As I'm sure everyone else has experienced with any major project, every detail feels like the most important thing in the moment. For instance, two weeks ago I was panicking over what we would do for trash bins. Reality check: if 5 weeks before your wedding you can devote energy to panicking about rubbish bins, you're probably in a good place.

On a related note, though, I do have a pet peeve I'd like to get off my chest. Many folks, in an effort to be helpful, have offered the advice "remember to enjoy this time of life," or, worse, "remember to just keep it simple!" While I reserve the right to change my mind on this later, for now I remain convinced these people have either never been involved in planning a wedding, or it's been so long since they did, that they've forgotten just how not-simple even the most simple wedding is. In an effort not to get angry at truly well-meaning friends and family who say such things, I choose to interpret their remarks as instead saying "I care for you, and I'm thinking of you, and I'm excited for you, therefore I wish you less-stressful times as you deal with what will be one of the most stressful times in your life."

A similar sentiment, though one I do actually agree with, is "it'll all get done. Or it won't, and it won't matter, because at the end of the day you'll be married and that's what matters." I think that sentiment is much more useful (though if you're someone saying this, I'd appreciate if you'd be willing to tack on one more line: "what can I do to help?"). This reminds me to have another look at our wedding mission statement that we drew up 6 months ago, to inspire and calm us in times when we found ourselves mired in details: "Joining together our two lives, celebrating with our community of family and friends, and focusing on God, service, and social responsibility."

What does social responsibility look like for your wedding?

Okay fine, once again I'm including an alleged "FAQ" that no one's ever actually asked. But I want to answer it anyway, because these details are particularly important to me.

All our plates, cups, and flatwear are compostable, in order to bring us as close as possible to a no-trash wedding (and reduce water consumption from not having to wash dishes). Instead of a dance we will be hosting a service project to make sandwiches for people experiencing poverty and homelessness this winter. For decorations, we are borrowing as much as possible, and buying as little as possible (aka financial stewardship). We won't be using balloons because of their environmental impact, and for the ceremony we will ask our guests to pull up the program on their smartphones, to save on paper. We have chosen vendors who (to the best of our knowledge) are GLBTQ-friendly. And our caterer is a locally-owned restaurant on Lake Street, Abi's Cafe, whom I found after a news story months ago about the owner (Abi) going out of her way to hire a panhandler, rather than giving him a free hand-out. (and, their food is delicious - I highly recommend checking the cafe out if you're local!).

Lastly, though we do have a registry for tangible gifts, we are asking our guests to consider instead donating to one of the charitable organizations we support:

When and where will you be going on your honeymoon?

We'll be going to Europe (all of it, all the things!) in summer 2017. Exact details are TBD until after the wedding planning chaos has wrapped up, but if you have suggestions of sights to see (or not see) in Europe, please let us know! This is your invitation for offering unsolicited advice :)

What will the Ring Bear be wearing?

A baby tuxedo from Target. Mr Bear will be looking quite dapper.